According to the old wise scrolls of crypto.news, Sushi (SUSHI) was trading at a rather splendid $0.79, up 2% just yesterday, and flexing a 6.3% gain across the past seven days. Its market cap stood modestly at $153 million-at least for now.
According to Reuters, Nasdaq is shelling out $50 million for a front-row seat at Gemini’s IPO, which is scheduled for September 12, 2025. That’s just in time for everyone to forget what crypto is by 2030. The twins, now calling their operation “Gemini Space Station Inc.,” are selling 16.7 million shares between $17 and $19. Because nothing says “trust us” like a price range that’s basically a guess. 🤷♂️
They say the whole crypto shebang is havin’ a bit of a come-up, pushin’ close to four trillion dollars. Bitcoin’s still the big dog, holdin’ more than half of that, which is somethin’, I reckon, for somethin’ that ain’t got no weight to it. But these flows, like water in the desert, they can dry up quick. And when they do… well, let’s just say it ain’t pretty. 🤔
Dogecoin [DOGE] is about to have a Wall Street moment so absurd it’ll make a banana stand owner weep. With the first DOGE ETF looking set to launch and approval odds soaring like a rocket fueled by memes, traders may face volatility so wild it’ll make a rollercoaster blush.
The Ethereum
ETH
$4 287
24h volatility:
0.4%
Market cap:
$517.33 B
Vol. 24h:
$27.85 B
treasury company, which holds $3.6 billion in ETH with zero debt (because why pay interest when you can just sit on crypto and hope?), claims its stock is undervalued. Co-CEO Joseph Chalom, whose name now rhymes with “Chalo-mania,” insisted that buying back shares is “immediately accretive” to shareholders. Translation: We’re throwing money at this problem until it dies. 💸
As Paxos, Frax, Agora, and even the very architects of Hyperliquid themselves converge, the community is left to ponder the ultimate enigma: who shall steer the course of this stablecoin’s destiny? 🧠
After a brief recovery from the $110,100 abyss-where it presumably met the ghosts of failed altcoins-Bitcoin clawed its way past $110,800 and $111,500. But just as it reached $113,200, the bears showed up like uninvited in-laws, crushing dreams faster than a Twitter hack.
Ah, CoinShares – one of Europe’s noble cryptic custodians of digital fortune – now sets its gaze upon the vast wilderness of the American market, ready to make its debut on the Nasdaq. Imagine Sweden’s icy fjords meeting Wall Street’s fervent pulse; this merger promises to be a curiosity for the ages.
Not just one or two, but dozens of ace JavaScript packages-those innocent utilities you rely on every day-got a Satan makeover. These packages combine for a casual 1 billion weekly downloads. So, yeah, this hack was basically the software equivalent of a global sneeze. Gesundheit!
Behold the announcement on X (formerly Twitter), where we learn that Murat Firat shall don the noble mantle of Head of Product. A former CTO at BiLira and TRYB, he now leads their product scope with all the gravitas of a man who knows his way around Turkish lira stablecoins. Joining him is Adam Jacobs, erstwhile global head of payments at FTX, who brings his expertise from Nuvei to steer the ship of global payments. And lo, Usmann Khan, a veritable titan of security research on ImmuneFi, takes up arms against vulnerabilities as Head of Protocol Security.
