And get this: whispers of a $1 billion digital treasury fling, hoarding XRP like it’s the last chocolate in the box, while teaming up with Absa Bank (hello, South Africa!) and even dabbling with DBS and Franklin Templeton. Partnerships? More like a glittery orgy of finance. 🙄
What a scene: Elon Musk, the king of chaos, whips out a post on X featuring his adorable Shiba Inu, Floki, and BAM! – instant speculation frenzy for the FLOKI memecoin. Immediate, hilarious, and utterly bonkers. 😂🚀
After tapping an all-time high of $4,376 per ounce, gold took a breather and slipped to $4,233 on Sun. afternoon. Fast forward to today, and it’s strutting back up 2.48%, with each ounce fetching $4,365 as of 3:26 p.m. Eastern time. Silver’s playing sidekick, up 0.70% over the past day at $52.30 per troy ounce. 🌟
Behold, the centerpiece of his campaign: a Chief Innovation Officer, a figure so grand, so visionary, that one might mistake them for a character from a Gogol novella! 🧛♂️ This officer shall reign over an Innovation Council, flanked by three advisory committees-crypto, AI, and biotech-each more enigmatic than the last. Their mission? To advise on workforce training and rule changes, of course! But fear not, dear reader, for this is no mere bureaucratic shuffle; it is a revolution, a symphony of progress conducted by the maestro himself, Cuomo! 🎩🎶
Yet, amidst the gridlock, the legislative merry-go-round spins on. Wednesday brings a Democratic roundtable, a veritable salon of crypto titans from Coinbase, Kraken, Circle, Ripple and sundry other alchemists, convened under the baleful eye of Senator Kirsten Gillibrand to ponder the mythical market-structure bill. How quaint, this post-X insight from the indefatigable Eleanor Terret! 😏
One might say their treasury strategy is as refined as a butler’s tea service: a blend of direct Bitcoin purchases and “structured derivative strategies” (fancy jargon for “betting on crypto without breaking a sweat”). Put options, hedging instruments-the sort of financial wizardry that would make a pirate blush. 🏴☠️
the filing comes after a crucial clarification from the SEC’s Division of Corporation Finance. They’ve decided that standard liquid staking activities, like those involving stETH, aren’t considered securities transactions. (I know, shocker!)
As the calendar cruelly marked October 20, Amazon Web Services, that pulsing artery of the web’s vast body, suffered a grievous rupture, flooding disruption into the veins of countless sites and apps, a veritable hemorrhage of bits and bytes. Serving as the invisible backbone to millions, its failure was like a lover’s betrayal in the dead of night, severe and unforgiving. Scattered among the afflicted, a choir of companies laments the damage wrought upon their empires-chief among them, Coinbase Global Inc., that gilded gate to digital gold. 😏 (Who knew cryptography could be so susceptible to a rainy day in Seattle?)
Yet, lo and behold, while our brave souls embraced Ethereum, the dark clouds loomed large. $513 million evaporated from digital asset funds like a sneeze in the wind, spurred by a liquidity avalanche from Binance – yes, another melodramatic plot twist in this crypto-caper! The total outflows, since that fateful day, have reached a lamentable $668 million. Oh, the irony! ETP investors, those gallant knights, seemed to waltz unaffected, while the on-chain holders trembled, clutching their pearls and reflecting on their life choices. 🤦♂️
Enter BitcoinOG (1011short), the crypto equivalent of a folk hero who once made $197 million in a single flash crash. Imagine a man who bets like he’s robbing a tsar’s vault and wins. On-chain whispers say he’s just deposited $30 million in USDC to Hyperliquid-a currency so “stable” it’s basically Monopoly money-and opened a 10x short on 700 BTC. That’s $75.5 million of pure, unadulterated “I bet this thing crashes harder than my aunt’s fruitcake.” The crowd gasps. The bears salivate. The bulls… well, they’re just trying not to faint.
