Crypto news

According to some fancy folks at Cryptoquant, this profit-taking dance started after Bitcoin ( BTC) sashayed past a staggering $120,000 late in July 2025. Kinda like hitting the jackpot and then saying, “I’ll take my winnings now, thank you very much.” Earlier episodes included Bitcoin hitting $70,000 in March 2024 (when U.S. ETFs came into town) and then soaring past $100,000 after the presidential elections—because nothing says ‘market fun’ like politics and profits combined! 💰

Prepare your finest tea, for the influx of capital into crypto ETFs (exchange-traded funds) in July has set a new benchmark of bullishness. While the world is abuzz with tales of regulatory upheaval and macroeconomic turbulence, the real story is written in the language of finance: inflows. Ah, the sweet sound of money flowing like a river into the crypto realm!

Seasonal headwinds (whatever those are) have also joined the party, leaving Bitcoin (BTC) gasping for air like me after climbing two flights of stairs. BTC dipped below $118,000, hit an intraday low of $114,758, and is now clinging to $115,634 like a toddler clutching their favorite blankie. It’s down over 2%, because why not? 😩

Oh, ETH, sweetheart. So close to $4,000, so far from graciousness. It made a valiant attempt to reach the promised land but was promptly stopped by the seller mob at around $3,900. Now, it’s looking like a mopey teenager—down 4%, feeling misunderstood and pouting in the red. At this point, ETH’s basically trying to find its support level—like trying to find Wi-Fi in a desert. If it can rally, maybe it’ll give that coveted second shot at $4K, but no promises—this is crypto, after all.

Tokenizing bonds and equity stakes? Genius! Investor protections remain, but settlement time? Gone in seconds. Secondary markets? Now *that’s* a party trick. 🎉

The filings suggest the SEC’s been busy turning the pages, probably sipping coffee and thinking, “Oh, they’re serious… or just really bored.” Meanwhile, interest in crypto beyond Bitcoin (yes, Ethereum and Solana—those underdogs with attitude) is skyrocketing faster than a rocket in a sci-fi flick. 🚀✨

The Ripple-related cryptocurrency has taken a 10% nosedive from its weekly high of $3.30. And to top it off, trading volumes have surged to $7.5 billion, proving that bears are out in full force, snorting and snarling like a troupe of disgruntled raccoons 🐿️.

Apparently, this furry little number is showing “signs of a potential breakout.” Because, you know, what’s more exciting than a dog breaking out of a kennel? A meme coin breaking out of its chart pattern. Analysis suggests it’s eyeing a 70% upside move. Or maybe it’s just eyeing your wallet. 👀💰

The Financial Conduct Authority, ever the vigilant guardian, has seen fit to maintain its ban on crypto derivatives, a decision that smacks of both wisdom and a touch of paternalism. One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from the more risk-averse among us, though the thrill-seekers may grumble into their gin and tonics. 🍸

Grok, X’s AI tool, is basically saying, “Hey, remember when Bitcoin used to do that thing where it just… exploded? Well, it’s happening again, or maybe not. We’re not sure, but the odds are in the ‘explosive’ column, or maybe the ‘disastrous’ one. Your call.”