Once a phoenix rising from regulatory ashes, Coinbase has announced that the US SEC, in a dazzling display of changing heart, has agreed to fold its cards on their seemingly eternal lawsuit. This about-face whispers of a future where crypto cavaliers can roam free without fear of the regulatory sheriff. Or does it? 🤔
US SEC Waves the White Flag at Coinbase
In a curiouser-than-curious twist (Lewis Carroll would approve), Coinbase proclaimed in a press release that the US SEC—like an embarrassed magician trying to shove the rabbit back into the hat—has, “in principle,” decided to toss its “unlawful enforcement” case into the juridical abyss. Of course, this is pending Commissioner approval, because bureaucracy, my dear reader, is the true boss battle. 🎩🐇
The crypto Leviathan took a dignified pause to point out that justice, though slow as a sloth on a lazy Sunday, has cloaked it in her disheveled glory. “The SEC should’ve never filed this case,” Coinbase remarked with the elegance of someone holding their head high while victory champagne drips from their chin. 🍾
Paul Grewal, Coinbase’s Chief Legal Baron (or Chief Legal Officer to mortals), ascended the metaphorical podium to trumpet this legal triumph. With dramatic flourish, he hailed the verdict as “a win not just for Coinbase, but also for freedom, the United States, and customers everywhere.” What a list! What next? World peace? A four-day work week? Stay tuned… 👀✨
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2025-02-21 16:28