What to know:
- Bitcoin came perilously close to $100,000 as crypto markets climbed, courtesy of the Federal Reserve’s confusing signals and Donald Trump’s vague promise of a trade deal.
- Meanwhile, dogecoin and Cardano‘s ADA saw substantial gains, as if they were the popular kids at a crypto party, while the CoinDesk 20 index increased by 2.2%.
- The Federal Reserve’s decision to sit on its hands and keep interest rates steady has left the market in a state of mild panic, especially for risk assets like crypto.
Bitcoin (BTC), that ever-volatile, attention-seeking digital asset, almost kissed the $100,000 mark on Thursday. But it wasn’t just BTC playing hard to get. Dogecoin (DOGE) and Cardano’s ADA were making headlines, racing ahead of the pack, all thanks to some “dovish” vibes from the Federal Reserve and a trade deal that U.S. President Donald Trump teased like a bad magician revealing his tricks too soon.
Dogecoin added a neat 5%, while ADA surged by 4%, and other crypto stalwarts like ether (ETH), BNB Chain’s BNB, XRP, and Solana’s SOL crept up by a more modest 2%-3%. The CoinDesk 20 index (that’s the top 20 cryptocurrencies, folks—keep up!) rose by 2.2%, like the little engine that could.
In a Twitter post that sounded more like an infomercial, Trump hyped a “big” trade deal that would be revealed at a 10 a.m. ET press conference. The media, ever so adept at playing the guessing game, quickly declared that the mystery country was none other than the U.K. (Is there a twist? Nope. It’s just the U.K.).
This announcement, Trump promised, would be the first of “many” such deals. It’s a mystery why everyone still expects this to be the solution to the world’s problems, but hey, if tariffs stop being a thing, that could mean a happier economic outlook, right? And happy economies are always friends with risk assets like crypto!
Meanwhile, the Federal Reserve decided to keep interest rates steady. In case you were hoping for a big, dramatic move, sorry. This lack of surprise left the markets nervously chewing their nails, pondering when, or if, the Fed will finally decide to cut rates.
According to the CME FedWatch Tool (no, it’s not a new Netflix series), there’s a 55% chance of a rate cut in July, and traders are betting on a total of 100 basis points in cuts by the end of the year. It’s almost like the Fed’s playing a game of “When will the next cut happen?” but no one knows the rules.
“Bitcoin is inching back up to $100k with the Fed’s steady decision and the growing chatter of future cuts,” said Semir Gabeljic, head of Pythagoras Investments. “At this point, with all the pressure on the Fed chair, anything could happen. The only certainty is uncertainty.” Ah yes, the joy of predicting the unpredictable.
Other analysts are waving red flags, warning that the economy could soon be trapped in the dreadful embrace of stagflation—where inflation, stagnant growth, and rising unemployment all decide to throw a party together. Yikes.
“The Federal Reserve faces an intensifying policy dilemma,” said Gabe Selby, head of research at CF Benchmarks. “With businesses passing rising tariff costs to consumers, inflation is likely to surge, while the job market looks worse than an empty crypto wallet.” Fun times!
Despite all this gloom, bitcoin seems to be emerging as the poster child for surviving the madness. In fact, bitcoin is raking in big bucks, with a record influx into U.S. spot bitcoin ETFs, including BlackRock’s IBIT, which has seen a whopping $4.3 billion in the last month alone.
Jupiter Zheng, a partner at HashKey Capital, gave us a glimpse of optimism: “Bitcoin’s rise is a clear sign it’s becoming a solid hedge against global chaos.” Because who wouldn’t trust crypto to save us all from the terrifying uncertainty of, well, everything?
Sam Reynolds contributed reporting.
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2025-05-08 12:33