Bitcoin vs Gold: Is It a Tulip or the Future? šŸ¤‘šŸ’„

With investors clutching their crypto wallets like they’re about to fall into a black hole, Schiff has seized the moment to declare the ā€œdigital goldā€ narrative as dead as a dodo. 🦤✨ And boy, does he love a good “I told you so.” But let’s be honest, if Schiff had a nickel for every time he called Bitcoin a scam, he’d probably have more money than Bitcoin’s current market cap. šŸ’ø

Trump’s Golden Tokens: Maldives Gets a Taste of The Donald’s Crypto Dream šŸŒ“šŸ’°

In the glittering cesspool of Dubai, on November 17, 2025, Dar Global and The Trump Organization announced their latest scheme: a resort of 80 ultra-luxury villas, perched like parasites on the pristine waters of the Maldives. A mere 25-minute speedboat ride from MalĆ©, this monument to excess is slated to open by 2028. But wait, there’s more! They’ve also birthed the world’s first tokenized hotel development, a gambit to lure investors into the fray before the paint even dries. Eric Trump, the scion of this empire of bluster, and Ziad El Chaar, his partner in profiteering, lead this unholy alliance. Together, they marry Dar Global’s development machine with the Trump brand, creating a flagship resort that screams, ā€œLook at me, I’m rich!ā€ šŸ¤‘

Bitcoin’s Sudden Fall Below $90K: Crypto Execs Claim ‘Once-in-a-Generation’ Chance – Hilariously Bold!

According to the ever-so-dignified BitMine chairman, Mr. Tom Lee, the October 10th liquidations, coupled with the lingering question of whether the US Federal Reserve will decide to cut rates in December, have kept the poor crypto market in quite a tizzy. He has ventured to suggest that there are signs of ā€˜exhaustion’ among the sellers, though whether these sellers are merely fatigued or simply out of ideas remains to be seen. His technical analysis, which I am sure involves a great deal of staring at graphs, suggests that a bottom may soon be upon us. How thrilling! šŸŽ¢