Meet Michael Saylor, the man who, when faced with tens of billions of dollars, says “more, please” like a kid at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. Once the big cheese at Strategy (née MicroStrategy, but, you know, we’re doing the single-name thing now), Saylor’s latest feat involves a plan to scoop up Bitcoin like it’s going out of style. Again.
In a fresh barrage of posts on X (formerly Twitter, currently the wild west where millionaires play thumb wrestling), Saylor gleefully upped the ante. Yesterday’s $42 billion shopping spree was, in his words, “cute.” Today, it’s $84 billion, a figure that only feels real when written on a check you hope doesn’t bounce.
“MSTR announces BTC Yield of 13.7% and BTC gain of $5.8 billion year-to-date, doubles capital plan to $42 billion equity and $42 billion fixed income to purchase Bitcoin, and increases BTC Yield target from 15% to 25% and BTC dollar gain target from $10 billion to $15 billion for 2025.”
For anyone not fluent in corporate-ese, this means Michael Saylor wants to strap himself to the Bitcoin rocket so tightly, NASA should probably be warned. The 42/42 plan—so named because it mirrors the number of times your accountant will sigh reading these reports—means they’ll keep buying Bitcoin, or until someone pries it from their cold, diamond hands.
Let’s round up the stats you can whip out at dinner parties: Strategy is currently hoarding 553,555 BTC (one wonders what numerological spirits guided that purchase), which works out to $53 billion. That’s 2.6% of all the Bitcoins ever to exist, just sitting in Strategy’s digital coffer—imagine owning 2.6% of all the croissants in France, and you’re close.
Last month, in a move reminiscent of someone vigorously hitting “refresh” on Amazon Prime Day, Strategy cleared out the Bitcoin shelves in three separate transactions. The splashiest of the bunch: $1.42 billion on April 28th alone. I wish I bought that much on impulse in one day. My biggest recent splurge was two-for-one socks.
Not everyone is carving celebratory cakes. Twitter’s favorite masked ball participant, veteran trader The Flow Horse (if that’s his real name, blink twice), piped up for his 267,600 followers:
“Right now Michael Saylor + MicroStrategy’s Bitcoin stake is arguably the largest concentrated position in any globally traded asset by a private company or individual. Not a fan [to be honest].”
Meanwhile, Bitcoin—never one to sit still—was trading at $96,179 as I wrote this. It had dropped 1.3% in 24 hours, probably spooked by Saylor’s giant footsteps echoing through the blockchain. But don’t worry, it’ll climb back by the time you finish this sentence. Or not. That’s cryptocurrency for you—less a financial plan, more a roller coaster you’re not tall enough to ride.
🤑🚀🍕
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2025-05-04 17:41