The Existential Crisis of a Crypto Trader: Why Meme Coins? 🤔💸 LOL

by
  • One so-called “notorious” trader, evidently fed up with convention, casts aside TIA, ONDO, and a handful of other tokens, hurtling with Dostoevskian passion into the chaotic void of meme coins—sparking applause from the daring, and knowing nods of regret from the prudent.
  • Bitcoin tramples all, yet prophets of volatility insist “altseason” is creeping in, dragging HNT and ONDO to the altar because apparently, someone must always be sacrificed.

Altcoin Massacre, 2025 – Oil on Canvas

The Allure (or Delusion) of Cashing Out

Amidst the ceaseless babble of “altseason” hopefuls—a chorus as hollow as a Dostoevskian clock at three in the morning—Crypto Beast (a name destined to be muttered in sleepless regret or glory) announced the ceremonial offloading of tokens: Celestia (TIA), Ondo (ONDO), Ethena (ENA), Quant (QNT), and Pyth Network (PYTH). On July 7, of all days. One wonders: did he consult his horoscope, or simply the ghosts of past pump-and-dumps?

Irony abounds: these forsaken coins, in a perverse act of defiance, even managed to post gains shortly after. TIA strutted upward by 10%. The rest, not so much, perhaps out of spite or existential fatigue.

Our trader, with the weary wisdom of one who has read too many whitepapers and still trusts none, declared: utility is vastly overrated and, in truth, simply a scheme to enrich venture capitalists. The disdain was palpable—enough to make even Raskolnikov nod in solemn agreement.

The Beast now pursues meme coins with supposed 100x potential. Some cheered, clutching their NFTs and dreams. Others grumbled, jaded by last season’s Dogecoin hangover, wondering if the joke is on them. “Take profit,” the crowd intones, as if pulling a lever in an abandoned casino.

Once, this sector boomed past $120 billion—a sum large enough to make even Dostoevsky’s creditors weep—and now, down to $60 billion, as fleeting as a gambler’s luck after midnight.

A Timely Exit? Or Just Another Midnight Gambit?

The Colossus that is Bitcoin, standing atop a ruined landscape, now commands 64% market dominance, growing ever fatter as the altcoins languish in the shadows, planning their eventual—yet possibly imaginary—revenge.

BTC Dominance – A Picture of Desolation and Hope

Chiefy (a man with a username carrying the gravitas of a Dostoevskian police inspector) prophesies an impending “super-cycle” for the alts, with the low-cap tokens careening 175x, presumably dragging orthopedic surgeons into the market to repair all the whiplash. Top candidates for the next pogrom: SUI (which, hilariously, is the 15th-largest cryptocurrency—in case “low-cap” was a joke), HNT, RENDER, FIL, ONDO.

Carl Moon—whose following is greater than most existential philosophers ever dreamed—insists that a “parabolic” moment is at hand, provided altcoins’ combined capitalization climbs past $1.15 trillion. At present, it sits meekly below $1 trillion, like a character in a Russian novel gazing at a locked door.

To sum up, the future remains as clear as a Siberian winter morning: some will get rich, most will get existential, and a meme coin named DOST will rug them all. Laugh, lest you cry! 🚀💀

Read More

2025-07-07 17:33