Ethereum’s 2026: Moon or Doom? 🚀💸

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Brace yourselves, crypto enthusiasts! Ben Cowen, the oracle of charts and graphs, has spoken: Ethereum’s 2026 rally is about as likely as a snowball’s chance in hell. 🥶 Thanks to Bitcoin’s bearish tantrum, ETH might be headed for a cozy $2,000 nap. 😴

So, Ethereum’s future is looking about as bright as a British summer-gray and uncertain. Benjamin Cowen, the man who probably dreams in candlestick charts, recently spilled the tea on the Bankless podcast. 🍵 His verdict? ETH’s 2026 prospects are as shaky as a three-legged stool. 🪑

The culprit? Bitcoin, of course. Cowen reckons Bitcoin’s in a bear market, and it’s dragging Ethereum down like a toddler pulling on your pants. 🐻⬇️ “If Bitcoin’s sulking,” he said, “Ethereum’s not exactly going to throw a party.” 🎉✖️

And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, veteran trader Peter Brandt chimed in, predicting Bitcoin will plummet to $60,000 by Q3 2026. 🌋 So, Ethereum’s climb to glory? More like a hike up a greased pole. 🧗‍♂️💨

Will ETH’s Peak Be a Peak… or a Prank? 🤡

Cowen’s not done dashing hopes. He warns that even if ETH recovers to its all-time high, it’ll be shorter than a British summer-followed by a nosedive to $2,000. 🛩️💥 Remember August 2022, when ETH hit $4,878? Well, by November, it was down to $2,767. Talk about a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. 🎢

To hit its previous high, ETH needs a 40.59% bounce. Possible? Sure. Probable? Cowen’s raising an eyebrow and saying, “Don’t hold your breath.” 🤨💨

You might also like: Binance’s Bitcoin Christmas Drama: A Drop, a Recovery, and a Santa Hat 🎅

Altcoins: The Real-Life Version of “Where Are They Now?” 📰

Cowen’s not just bearish on Ethereum-he’s practically hibernating. 🛌 He thinks most altcoins are toast in this cycle. 🍞🔥 “Ethereum’s the only one I’d consider,” he said, “the rest are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.” 🚪🌊

Fundstrat Global Advisors agrees, predicting ETH will languish between $1,800 and $2,000 in 2026. Meanwhile, Crypto With James is over here shouting, “ETH’s not done yet!” 🗣️🚀 Who’s right? Your guess is as good as mine-or Cowen’s, apparently. 🤷‍♂️

One thing’s clear: crypto markets are more unpredictable than a toddler with a marker. 🎨 Ethereum’s fate is tied to Bitcoin’s, so investors, grab your popcorn and strap in. 🍿🎢

 

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2025-12-26 19:58