Google Buys Bitcoin Miner, Stock Explodes – But Can It Outwit a Toaster?

TeraWulf (WULF) just went from “meh” to “WOW” after Google decided to play stock market kingpin. 🚀 Who knew Big Tech could mine Bitcoin better than a goldfish counts gumballs?

Last week, TeraWulf inked a 10-year deal with Fluidstack to host AI like it’s 2001 and the internet is *actually* cool. 🤖💸

To fund this, Google threw $1.8 billion at Fluidstock lease obligations and grabbed 41 million WULF shares. Suddenly, the world’s fifth-largest Bitcoin miner has a new BFF: the company that owns your soul. 🤝

WULF’s stock? It went from $5.24 to $10.54 in one day-because nothing says “I’ve got money” like doubling in price while the moon winks at you. 🌕

CEO Paul Prager said, “This is a defining moment… powered by zero-carbon energy.” Translation: We’re rich, and we’re doing it sustainably. 🌱✨

Google’s net worth? $2.43 trillion. GOOG stock? All-time highs at $201.44. Because who *doesn’t* want a piece of the search engine that knows your deepest secrets? 🥧

But hey, if Bitcoin crashes again, at least we’ll have memes. And toasters. 🍞

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2025-08-20 00:44