Chaps & Cheques: $250M Vanishes Faster Than Gin at a Debs’ Ball-Cowardly Details Inside!

Darlings, let us condense the commotion into bite-sized bon-bons 🍸

  • In less time than it takes to find a matching silk cravat, Plasma hoovered up $250 million. One blink and-poof!-wallet doors slammed shut.
  • Their spanking-new USDT Locked Product doles out daily USDT crumbs and a jolly 100-million-XPL confetti drop (merely 1% of the whole XPL soufflé, so don’t faint).
  • Plasma, darling of the stablecoin soirée, already wooed $1 billion of other people’s USDT and pried $373 million from public-sale punters. My, such popularity-almost like me in 1933!

Imagine my astonishment! This morning, while I was idly toying with a silver cigarette case and wondering who stole my last martini, Plasma sashayed onto Binance’s Earn stage at high noon UTC. Their brief encore? A mere $250 million stablecoin hoover-fest-over and done before I could recite a limerick about liquidity. 🥂

The great unwashed-sorry, crypto enthusiasts-stampeded in like lemmings on espresso, desperate to snag daily USDT and a whiff of XPL glamour. (Frankly, I’d prefer equity in a decent hat shop, but each to his own.)

First-come, first-served? Darling, it was first-click, first-conned. Binance will snapshot balances daily, which sounds terribly invasive-almost as rude as rifling through one’s glove compartment for lipstick. Rewards drizzle out like reluctant compliments at a provincial dinner party, while the promised 100 million XPL airdrop lingers like an unpaid tab.

Speaking of tabs, Plasma teased that the cap could lift higher-akin to promising another tray of canapés after the first has already been devoured. Greedy little dears. 💸

In short: Plasma has charmed wallets faster than a matinée idol in tight trousers. Fee-free USDT transfers, Peter Thiel’s benediction, and Paolo Ardoino’s twinkling grin-all terribly intoxicating. Just remember, beloved reader: darling things can turn beastly when the music stops. Chin up, stiff upper lip, and keep that USDT close-like a spare cigarette in a silver case. 😏

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2025-08-20 18:52