Oh, what a to-do! The grand poobah of Coinbase, Mr. Brian Armstrong, has thrown his toys out of the pram over a leaked proposal from those meddling Senate Democrats. 🧐 They’ve cooked up a scheme to shackle the wild, wild west of decentralized finance (DeFi), and Armstrong is having none of it. “Bad proposal!” he squawked, flapping his arms like a startled pigeon. “It’ll send innovation packing faster than a witch on a broomstick!”
The proposal, as juicy as a rotten apple, demands Treasury-approved lists for “high-risk” DeFi protocols and Know Your Customer (KYC) rules for non-custodial wallets. Armstrong, in a post on X (formerly known as Twitter, for those living under a rock), warned this would stifle creativity and send developers scurrying overseas like rats from a sinking ship. 🏃💨
We absolutely won’t accept this!
It’s a bad proposal, plain and simple, that would set innovation back, and prevent the US from becoming the crypto capital of the world.
But legislating is a process, and we’re committed to engaging and helping Congress get it right. We will keep…
– Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) October 10, 2025
The Crypto Crowd Cries Foul
Armstrong isn’t alone in his outrage. The Blockchain Association’s Summer Mersinger chimed in, declaring the proposal a “disappointing” attempt to ban DeFi and wallet development in the U.S. “It’s as workable as a chocolate teapot!” she exclaimed. “This language is impossible to comply with and would send responsible development packing faster than a child from a dentist’s office.”
Armstrong, quoting Mersinger with a nod and a wink, warned that the U.S. risks losing its crown as the tech kingpin if this legislation passes. But fear not! He’s vowed to roll up his sleeves and get stuck in with Congress to fix this “critical piece of legislation.” 🛠️
The controversy has thrown a spanner in the works of bipartisan crypto talks, with Uniswap’s Hayden Adams adding his two cents. “The Democratic counterproposal would kill DeFi in the U.S.!” he tweeted, clutching his pearls. “There needs to be a HUGE shift from Dem senators to fix this and make progress on market structure.”
The republican senate banking market structure draft is the best bill we’ve seen on defi / dev protection
Just read the leaked dem counter and it would kill defi in the US
There needs to be a HUGE shift from dem senators to fix this and make progress on market structure
– Hayden Adams 🦄 (@haydenzadams) October 9, 2025
Some whispers suggest this proposal is a sly dig at the Trump administration, following their recent triumph in ending the Gaza war. 🕵️♂️ But whether it’s politics or poor planning, the crypto community is up in arms, ready to fight for a regulatory framework that doesn’t smother innovation like a pillow over a snoring giant.
So, will DeFi survive this legislative storm, or will it be sunk like a ship in a Dahl-esque twist? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: the crypto titans aren’t going down without a fight. 🦸♂️💥
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2025-10-10 19:19