Dear reader, gather ’round! Let us marvel at the modern alchemists of Strategy (née MicroStrategy), who’ve once again proven that BTC, that capricious diva of cryptocurrencies, adores dramatic dips solely to tempt mortals into financial masochism. Last week, as Bitcoin staged its signature circus act of plummeting like a lead balloon, Strategy dutifully opened its vaults to welcome 487 fresh BTC tokens at $102,557 a pop. How romantic.
Michael Saylor, the high priest of this Church of Nakamoto, proudly declared the acquisition via X (formerly Twitter), his digital scroll of revelations. The faithful now know that Strategy’s BTC Yield stands at 26.1% YTD 2025 – a number as meaningful as a horoscope, but shinier. Their treasure chest now clinks with 641,692 BTC, purchased for “$47.5 billion and a bag of salted nuts,” as the peasants say. The first coin was acquired in August 2020, which feels like several internet lifetimes ago.
Strategy has acquired 487 BTC for ~$49.9 million at ~$102,557 per bitcoin and has achieved BTC Yield of 26.1% YTD 2025. As of 11/9/2025, we hodl 641,692 $BTC acquired for ~$47.54 billion at ~$74,079 per bitcoin. $MSTR $STRC $STRD $STRE $STRF $STRK
– Michael Saylor (@saylor) November 10, 2025
At press time, Strategy’s crypto stash could buy them a small island nation (or at least a decent-sized yacht). Valued at $68 billion, it’s a paper profit of $20.5 billion – enough to make Scrooge McDuck weep into his money bin. But wait! The plot thickens. Last week’s 487 BTC purchase eclipses the paltry 397 BTC buy from November 4th and October’s 390 BTC snack. Strategy’s been busier than a squirrel before winter.
And yet, dear reader, irony drips like cheap vodka at a Bolshevik’s picnic: Strategy’s shares have cratered. MSTR trades at $241, down 40% from six months ago. The stock market, that fickle beast, clearly prefers companies that don’t treat Bitcoin like a slot machine. Perhaps investors crave stability? Nonsense! They’re just jealous Saylor didn’t invite them to the casino.
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2025-11-10 17:24