Cathie Wood’s Bitcoin Gambit: Dumbest Reason Revealed!

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The Canadian mining magnate, Frank Giustra, castigated Ark Invest’s CEO, Cathie Wood, with the vigor of a man who’s just discovered his gold is actually fool’s gold. 🎩💰

The pro-gold billionaire, with the fervor of a zealot, bestowed upon her the dubious honor of “first prize for the dumbest reason to buy Bitcoin“-a title she might have preferred to avoid, had she known it would be etched in the annals of financial folly. 🤯

During a recent podcast sojourn, Wood posited that the White House harbors a clandestine plan to acquire a million Bitcoin, a strategic reserve designed to circumvent the “lame duck” scenario-a theory as plausible as a penguin’s ballet career. 🐧

Giustra, a lifelong skeptic of modern monetary machinations and a devout adherent to the gospel of gold, dismissed the theory with the disdain of a man who’s seen too many bubbles burst. 🪙

Wood’s Optimistic Bet

U.Today reported that the so-called “strategic Bitcoin reserve” proved to be a colossal letdown, amounting to little more than a cessation of BTC sales rather than an acquisition. 🚫

Yet Wood, ever the optimist, envisions the White House leveraging Bitcoin to secure political power during the 2026 midterms-a vision as clear as a foggy morning in London. 🌫️

“Also, it seems as though there’s been reticence about actually buying Bitcoin for the strategic reserve. So far, it’s confiscated. The original intent was to own a million Bitcoin. So I actually think they will start buying…” Wood said, her logic as tangled as a spider’s web in a hurricane. 🕷️

Notably, Wood believes that other governments will have to follow suit. “I think if the US actually says, ‘Okay, now we’re going to buy,’ that’s going to spur a lot of other governments to think this thing through. Do they want to be hostage to the dollar and US monetary policy? No, they don’t. So put some Bitcoin in your reserves,” she said, her rhetoric as polished as a diamond in a coal mine. 💎

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2026-01-09 21:05