Bitcoin [BTC] is currently doing the financial equivalent of holding onto a slippery barstool-$90k is the level, but it’s not exactly throwing confetti. Meanwhile, Japan’s stock market is out here twerking on a 3.6% surge. Priorities, people.
Short-term holders (STHs) are now selling like they’re at a buffet and someone spilled the mashed potatoes. BTC’s below their average cost, so it’s time to panic or, y’know, find a new hobby. 🤢
The next move? Half depends on macro headlines, half on whether the market feels like it. Spoiler: it’s indecisive. 🎲
BTC Holds On for Dear Life (Literally)
At press time, BTC is trading at $92K, which is basically the financial equivalent of a “meh” emoji after a minor heart attack this week. Buyers are still defending key levels like they’re in a TikTok dance-off, but the crowd’s losing interest. 🕺
RSI is flexing like it just won a yoga competition-flexible but not sweaty. Volume’s up on green candles, so someone’s buying… selectively. MACD? Positive but bored. BTC’s just chilling in consolidation land. 🛋️
We need a “definite catalyst” to figure out which way this goes. Translation: hope for the best, prepare for a meme coin future. 🐱
Japan’s Risk Rally: Because Why Not?
Japanese equities hit record highs while everyone else is still figuring out how to use a keyboard. The Nikkei 225 jumped 3.6%, hitting 53,814.79-because why not break records on a Tuesday? The Topix index isn’t far behind, hitting 3,599.31 like it’s ordering takeout. 🍣
Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi might call an early election? Sure, let’s all pretend fiscal support is a never-ending all-you-can-eat sushi buffet. 🍣🍣🍱
Weaker yen = export stocks are the life of the party. Chipmakers and automakers are winning, and 209 of the Nikkei’s 225 stocks are green. Someone get BTC a life jacket-it’s drowning in FOMO. 🛶
STHs Are Just Here for the Buffet
STHs are selling like they’re at a Black Friday sale and the cashier is their ex. Let’s hope they remember how to budget after this… or not. 💸
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2026-01-13 20:15