Oh, the horror! The man who once claimed Bitcoin was his eternal soulmate, Michael Saylor, has uttered the unholy words during Strategy Inc.’s Q1 2026 earnings call. “We might sell some Bitcoin to pay a dividend,” he cackled, sending shockwaves through the crypto cosmos. Can you believe it? The diamond-handed guru is considering… gasp… parting with his precious digital gold!
“Just to inoculate the market,” he added, as if selling Bitcoin were a flu shot. As of May 3, the Tysons Corner-based firm was hoarding 818,334 Bitcoins, but now? Who knows! Maybe he’ll sell them to buy a lifetime supply of schnitzel!
A shocking tone change
For years, Saylor has been the crypto world’s version of a knight in shining armor, vowing never to betray Bitcoin. “I will buy the top forever!” he once proclaimed, like a madman at a blackjack table. “Bitcoin is the exit strategy!” he shouted, probably while riding a horse into the sunset.
When asked if he’d ever sell to capitalize on gains, he scoffed, “Sell the winner to buy the losers? Never!” But now? He’s singing a different tune, and it sounds like a cat stuck in a piano.
The crypto community reacts
The crypto crowd is in an uproar, like a bunch of chickens who just saw a fox in their coop. Crypto commentator Spreek mused that Saylor’s walking a tightrope, trying to please both STRC holders (who want him to sell) and MSTR/BTC holders (who want him to hodl). It’s like trying to juggle chainsaws while riding a unicycle.
Adam Livingston pointed out that selling is as unnecessary as a screen door on a submarine. “A 2.24% yield on their collateral covers the dividend,” he said, adding, “Even a 1% yield generates $664M. Bears, take note!” Meanwhile, Jeff Park marveled at Strategy’s unprecedented market mechanics, probably while sipping a latte.
A quarterly slump
Saylor’s sell-off musings come after a quarter so brutal, it makes a root canal look like a spa day. Strategy reported a net loss of $12.54 billion, or $38.25 per share, for Q1. Ouch! That’s more red than a tomato festival.
Bitcoin prices took a nosedive, and Strategy’s holdings took a beating. But hey, at least they’re not selling their office furniture… yet.
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2026-05-06 09:04