Crypto Taxes: A Kafkaesque Nightmare Unveiled by the IRS 😱

by

Ah, the labyrinthine mind of the bureaucrat! Bill Hughes, the sage of regulatory matters at Consensys, hath proclaimed that henceforth, crypto holders must navigate the infernal depths of wallet-by-wallet reporting. A task so absurd, it could only be devised by a mind steeped in the torment of existential dread! 🧐

In this age of Trumpian visions and Bidenian decrees, the crypto realm finds itself ensnared in a web of taxatory madness. Hughes, the harbinger of doom, doth warn of the IRS’s Revenue Procedure 2024-28-a document so byzantine, it would make even Raskolnikov blanch. 🕸️

On the digital squares of social media, Hughes cried out, his words echoing through the void: “Starting in April 2026, thou shalt track thy cost basis ON A WALLET BASIS, rather than universally across thy wallets!” A decree so cruel, it could only be the work of a bureaucracy drunk on power and indifference. 🤑

The document, a veritable tome of torment, demands that taxpayers “identify and maintain records sufficient to show the total number of remaining digital asset units in each of the wallets or accounts held by the taxpayer.” A task so Sisyphean, one wonders if it is designed to break the spirit of even the most steadfast crypto enthusiast. 🚀

Hughes, with a sardonic grin, proclaimed, “A lot of people’s taxes shall be filed with a near-zero chance of correctness!” A prophecy of chaos, he urges the masses to seek the counsel of professionals, lest they be consumed by the flames of fiscal purgatory. 🔥

And who is to blame for this infernal guidance? Hughes points his accusatory finger at the Biden Administration, a regime he claims hath birthed this monstrosity. Yet, there is hope-for the procedure, not born of congressional decree, may yet be amended. But will it? Or shall we remain forever trapped in this taxatory hell? 🤡

“A big shout out and thank you to the Biden Admin,” Hughes concluded, his tone dripping with sarcasm, “truly a gift that keeps on giving.” 🎁

Starting in April 2026, you will have to track your cost basis for your assets ON A WALLET BASIS rather than universally across all your wallets.

Thus, the crypto world teeters on the edge of madness, its denizens grappling with a bureaucracy that seems to delight in their suffering. Will they emerge unscathed, or shall they be consumed by the relentless gears of the tax machine? Only time will tell. ⏳

Read More

2025-09-22 12:57