Lo and behold! At the grandiose Blockchain Life 2025, where suits shimmer like crypto dreams and coffee flows like digital gold, Pavel Durov, that eternal madman of the internet, declared the birth of Cocoon-a “Confidential Compute Open Network.” A name so bureaucratic, one might mistake it for a tax form. Yet, it promises to yoke AI’s fickle beasts to the TON blockchain, all while whispering sweet nothings about privacy. How quaint.
This noble endeavor invites GPU owners to lend their idle machines to the cause, in exchange for TON tokens. A veritable feast for developers starved of affordable compute power! Or, as Gogol might say, a modern-day scribe trading his quill for a GPU, only to find himself serf to the algorithm.
Telegram, that ever-hungry octopus of the digital realm, shall be the first to feast on Cocoon’s bounty. By November 2025, its mini-apps and bots will dance on this new stage, like puppets pulled by decentralized strings. One wonders if the bots will demand unionization next.
⚡️ Durov, that lightning rod of controversy, took the stage at Blockchain Life 2025, where he unveiled Cocoon-a marriage of TON and AI so bizarre, even the blockchain gods raised an eyebrow. The crypto world, ever a theater of delusion, erupted in applause. “Privacy!” they cried. “Decentralization!” they chanted. As if shouting it louder would make it so.
– Blockchain Life 2025 (@BlLife_Forum) October 29, 2025
Durov, with the solemnity of a priest at a tech sermon, insists Cocoon keeps user data “private.” A bold claim, considering even your grandmother’s cat can now tweet. Yet here he is, promising AI-driven summarization and message drafting without centralized overlords. One suspects the overlords have simply formed a DAO.
“Market-driven infrastructure,” he calls it-a phrase so smooth, it could butter a bureaucrat’s bread. Transparent pricing, anti-censorship, and a side of digital freedom. Telegram’s long-standing stance? More like a man who fled regulators once and never looked back, now building a fortress of code.
Ton, that blockchain of many talents, already hosts decentralized apps, NFTs, and payments. Now, with Cocoon, it shall birth AI, as if blockchains were but cosmic eggplants, sprouting technologies in their infinite, cryptic wisdom.
From Messaging to Digital Empire
Durov, ever the philosopher-king, waxed poetic on Bitcoin’s virtues. “It funded my life!” he declared, as if early Bitcoin hodling were some noble act, not a Hail Mary pass from fiat’s clutches. His distrust of inflation? A reasonable paranoia, or the ramblings of a man who once sold a social network for $0?
Cocoon, then, is but another step in Telegram’s metamorphosis-from humble messaging app to a decentralized utopia. Or, as Gogol might quip, a man builds a tower to escape surveillance, only to find the tower itself is watching.
With TON, Bitcoin, and now Cocoon, Durov’s vision stretches beyond mere messages. He now dabbles in data, computation, and value exchange-like a 19th-century poet who accidentally invented the internet and is now too proud to stop.
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2025-10-29 20:55