BTC’s $200K Dream: A 4-Year Hiccup 🐘💸

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Veteran trader Peter Brandt, a man whose crystal ball is apparently made of bureaucratic red tape, declared Bitcoin’s $200,000 milestone a “Q3 2029 affair”-a timeline so leisurely it makes crypto executives’ “end-of-year” predictions look like a raccoon sprinting in quicksand. “Patience, dear investors,” he mused on X, as if scribbling a bureaucratic form to the cosmos. “Four years is but a blink in Bitcoin’s eternal fiscal odyssey.”

Brandt’s forecast, a masterclass in understated optimism, contrasts sharply with the economic alchemists of the crypto world-Arthur Hayes, Tom Lee, and others who insist $200K is just a coffee break away. Meanwhile, Cathie Wood and Brian Armstrong dream of $1 million Bitcoin by 2030, a figure so lofty it could only exist in a universe where gravity is optional. Brandt, modest as ever, expects a mere fivefold lesser amount a quarter later. How humble.

Bitcoin, meanwhile, has been on a rollercoaster ride since its October peak of $125K, plummeting to $88K before briefly recovering and then gaslighting everyone with a $86,870 slump. Brandt, ever the optimist, called this “healthy,” as if describing a spa day for the world’s most volatile asset. “This dumping is the best thing!” he declared, as if Bitcoin’s price swing were a ballet of chaos choreographed by a drunk fairy godmother.

For context, Brandt likened Bitcoin’s chart to the 1970s soybean market-a time when prices peaked and then collapsed like a poorly constructed soufflé. “Soybeans dropped 50% in the 70s,” he noted, as if Bitcoin’s fate were written in a cursed ledger passed down through generations of grain traders. Charles Edwards of Capriole Investments chimed in, marveling at the “institutional selling” on Coinbase as if witnessing a symphony of madness conducted by a rogue algorithm.

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2025-11-21 05:49