XRP Guru Throws Crypto at Senate Hopeful – What Could Go Wrong?

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So, apparently, Ripple’s CTO David Schwartz, aka JoelKatz, decided to toss some XRP at John Deaton’s Senate campaign. Big whoop. I mean, who doesn’t love a good crypto donation? Especially when it’s from the guy who helped build the XRP Ledger. You know, the thing that’s supposed to change the world but mostly just confuses my accountant.

Schwartz, one of the three wise men behind XRP, and Deaton, the lawyer who rallied 75,000 XRP holders to fight the SEC like it’s a crypto version of the Battle of Thermopylae, have this weird bromance going on. Deaton even called Schwartz a “legit genius.” Yeah, sure, because building a ledger that settles payments in three seconds is basically the same as curing cancer. But hey, who am I to judge? I once spent 45 minutes trying to figure out how to use a self-checkout machine.

What Deaton Said About It

Deaton, not one to miss a chance to humblebrag, took to X (formerly Twitter, because why not rename everything?) to gush about Schwartz. He reminded everyone that before XRP, Schwartz was an NSA contractor. You know, the kind of guy who probably knows what you had for breakfast. Then he dabbled in Bitcoin’s codebase in 2011, which is like saying you helped paint the Mona Lisa by holding the ladder. Finally, he teamed up with Jed McCaleb and Arthur Britto (the Howard Hughes of crypto) to create the XRP Ledger. Deaton called it a “crypto revolution.” I call it a way to lose money faster than a Vegas weekend.

“Three legends. One ledger. And it’s an honor for one of them to help me bring ‘commonsense-based, nonpartisan leadership’ to the Senate,” Deaton wrote. Commonsense? In the Senate? Good luck with that, buddy. Last time I checked, the Senate’s idea of commonsense is arguing about whether the sky is blue.

The Legal Drama That Makes Soap Operas Look Boring

Here’s the kicker: Schwartz and Deaton are basically crypto’s version of Batman and Robin, minus the capes and the utility belts. Deaton and his 75,000 XRP holders took on the SEC like it was a schoolyard fight, all while Ripple was doing its own legal tango. Deaton submitted amicus briefs, made oral arguments, and even got 4,000 XRP holders to sign affidavits. Judge Analisa Torres was like, “Yeah, this guy’s got a point,” and ruled that XRP isn’t a security. Now Deaton’s running for Senate, because why stop at winning court cases when you can try to fix the entire government?

So, there you have it. A crypto genius, a lawyer with a cause, and a Senate campaign funded by XRP. What could possibly go wrong? Probably everything. But hey, it’s more entertaining than another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Wait, scratch that. Nothing’s more entertaining than Curb Your Enthusiasm.

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2026-05-18 20:36